(If for whatever reason this doesn’t happen, it is not my fault and I take no responsibility for it)
Arsenal missed out on Lisandro Martinez and that is fine, he decided to go and play with his former manager on a worse team in United for €57.37 million, which could rise to €67.37m through variables. From an Arsenal perspective, there is no reason we should have spent that much money on a CB who we it looks like we would have deployed at LB (even though he doesn’t play there for club or country, the only thing he has that resembles a LB is his preference of his left boot). We also missed out on Raphinha which I could give two shits about as he has publically and privately been twerking for Barca for months now, no need for Arsenal to cough up north of €60m for a guy who scored 11 league goals last year (Pépé got lambasted and called a bust for scoring 10 league goals the season before, makes you think). But no worry, looks like we got the LB we wanted, according to Fab, Arsenal and City have reached an agreement for Oleksandr Zinchecnko.