Tag: Lacazette

Arsenal Preview 2022/2023 (Forwards) – Gabi Jesus Szn

Imagine a professional football team that tried to achieve Champions League football with a center forward that couldn’t run, jump, or move in any capacity. God Bless Lacazette, but that is what Arsenal tried to achieve last year. The combination of Auba, Laca, and Eddie Nketiah last year through 38 PL games accounted for 13 goals. 13 motherfucking goals. 37 year old Cristiano score more himself in a disoriented United squad. Salah had more than 13 himself halfway through last season. It is quite literally a miracle that we were one result going our way from making the Champions League. To the club’s credit, Arsenal have gone on and acquired the services of Brazilian International and multi Premier League champion Gabriel Jesus to lead the line and the change has been nothing short of drastic.

CENTER FORWARD/STRIKER: If you look at the numbers Gabi Jesus produced during his time at City, they may look underwhelming at first but he had a lot of extenuating factors that played against him. The stubborn Aguero refusing to give up his spot, an absolutely crowded front line, and lack of consistent game time hindered Gabi’s time at City. Gabi Jesus spent a good amount of time on the wings and was in charge of tracking back like any winger is asked to do which is something Pep appreciated from him however, that greatly hindered Gabriel Jesus’ chances for goals. At Arsenal, we go as far as Gabi takes us. He’s our star man and what our transfer window was based off of. It’s on him, management and the team to get the best out of him. In just a few games in preseason and against Palace, you can just see the quality oozing out:

He calmly brings the cross-field pass down with his chest and proceeds to pass and then RUN into the box to follow his pass and get the goal. I’d have to end myself before Lacazette did such a thing last season. This goal also shows the flexibility that Gabi provides in being able to play on the touchline if need be, for example if we need to team him up with Eddie for a goal and he has to float out wide.

This passage of play against Palace also shows the all-action footballer that Gabi Jesus is as he muscles Schlupp off the ball, megs Dourouré, and then sends Andersen back to Denmark all in one run before getting his shot block. Gabriel Jesus was absolutely everywhere in the first half against Palace and was extremely unlucky to not have a goal to his name for his effort. He fell off a bit in the second half but so did the rest of the attacking line as Palace grew into the game. He hasn’t seem to fully find a connection with Ødegaard and Saka yet but for the sake of Arsenal, we need them to find something if we want to achieve greater things than last season. 30+ G/A contributions should be the standard for Gabriel Jesus if he stays healthy and I don’t see why he doesn’t reach it. he looks sharp, he’s moving well, he just needs to opportunities. Oh and we also signed Eddie Nketiah to another deal to be our backup striker/CF. I would rather us have let him go after this contract ended personally as I don’t rate him highly but since we were dumb enough to not move him out with time left on his contract, Arsenal probably felt obligated to extend him due to not handling his contract situation efficiently.

WIDE FORWARDS/WINGERS: I will absolutely never give up on Nico Pépé even though his time at the club is more than done it looks like. Arteta doesn’t seem too eager to give him any playing time despite the wages and transfer fee he commanded. I don’t think Arteta has treated him well or given him the fairest chance but in his defense, Pépé hasn’t fully taken his chances despite scoring 10 goals in the 2020/2021 season on limited starts. I’d like to find a way to get a front line of Pépé, Saka, and Gabriel Jesus a chance to grow but we will see. At the moment, it looks like Saka’s and Martinelli’s positions out wide. In a time where the best wingers are getting close to and more than 20 goals a season, we are going to need more end product out of the two of them. Saka did fine last year despite him creating so many chances and messing up the final ball. Martinelli absolutely needs to get 20+ G/A in the league if he wants to be our starting RW. His respectable 6/6 G/A in the league last year came off only a half season being our out-and-out starter but will need more from him. ESR is the forgotten man at the moment as he hasn’t been able to stay healthy. In the first half of the season, he was like a bat out of hell scoring all the goals he did with his timely arrivals to the box. Having him rotate with Martinelli or off the bench would be dope, we just need him to be healthy. Absolutely can not have the #10 shirt Arsenal wasted to a bench/rotation/injured player. Reiss Nelson is still at the club as well and should be loaned/sold off by the end of the window. Love you Reiss.

Featured image credits: Premier League

Twitter credits: NBCSportsSoccer, arsenal_video

Imagine losing a soccer game, could never be me

GET THE FUCK IN FELLAS. Arsenal 4 – Team with no owners 2. Arsenal did it, they really did it. It’s moments like these that make you want to laugh and kill yourself all at the same time. For the past few weeks, I have mentioned that our games in hand(s) aren’t that much of a blessing as they are all games against Big 6 opponents, one of them being Chelsea. Little did I know, that Arsenal would go on to lose 3 straight to Crystal Palace, Brighton and Southampton; and subsequently travel to Stamford Bridge to whoop some Chelsea ass. Only this god forsaken club, I swear. This game puts us right back in the Top 4 hunt which 100% will come back and kill me. Future Kent will worry about that later though.

PREMATCH: With Chelsea coming off a busy week after a grueling Champions League tie with Real Madrid and a FA Cup Semifinal victory over Crystal Palace, you would expect Tuchel to put some rotation in for Arsenal, but little did I know he would have so little respect for us ( I don’t blame him). He put Lukaku back into the starting XI, brought on Malang Sarr to LCB, rested Thiago Silva, and brought in RLC to the CM pivot. Arteta tinkered heavy too by bringing in Rob Holding to CB, pushed Ben White out to RB, put Elneny next to Xhaka in the CM pivot and put Eddie up top over Laca.

SUMMARY: The first half started with Chelsea very much on the front foot with very dangerous corners that Ramsdale didn’t deal with at all (He hasn’t been that convincing for a while now for me). Then we got a gift shaped in a beautiful Danish basket all laid out for us by Andreas Christensen’s misplaced back-pass that Eddie was able to latch on to and put away.

The ability for Eddie to run like a normal human being makes him a net positive compared to what Laca has offered us recently.

In typical Arsenal fashion, legitimately just a few minutes later, Timo Werner got a deflected shot past Ramsdale but who gives a fuck?

I can watch Xhaka bullying Lukaku and Alonso all day long.

Our second goal in the 27th minute by ESR came from a brilliant run by Xhaka who was able to body off Lukaku and meg Alonso in our own box before starting a counter that turned into ESR’s 10th PL goal of the season. Just fucking brilliant by Granit to get us out of pressure. To be fair, he couldn’t have picked two better Chelsea players to just straight up embarrass and dribble past as Lukaku can’t move anymore and Alonso is Alonso. Chelsea were able to equalize soon after as we were sloppy in the back which gave Chelsea the chance to capitalize on a flat footed Nuno at the back post. We went into the half tied up 2-2 with Chelsea and at this point, I just get migraines watching this team play. To be fair, as well as we played as it pertained to the 2-2 score at the time, I thought Chelsea were way below standards as opposed to Arsenal bossing them. Kanté and RLC lost possession so many times. The Chelsea wing backs, Alonso specifically was basically a turnstile that Saka kept toying with like on a busy day at Grand Central. Just no resistance to the Arsenal attack whenever we were able to cross into their half.

SECOND HALF: The second half started with another gift from Chelsea which is super awkward cause Chelsea I don’t think can accept gifts on their end due to various sanctions lmao. With that being said, Nuno capitalized on a loose pass and played it into Eddie who was able to poke the ball in after calamitous defending from Chelsea. Inject this shit into my fucking veins.

Arsenal then did a masterful job of seeing the game out despite the heavy Chelsea pressure to get an equalizer. And then came the beautiful cherry on top.

Arsenal and Kent finally got some luck and were granted a penalty for the vicious mauling Saka took from Azpi. Just a hugely dangerous altercation with Cesar lucky to even stay on the field. There is no place for this type of play in the Premier League. (Between you and me, that is the softest penalty I have ever seen, if this was given against Arsenal, I have no doubt that I would not live to finish the rest of the game. I would have lost my mind and voice but oh well lol, couldn’t be me). Saka converted the penalty and gave us the 4-2 victory as well as a new found look on life if you are a depressed Arsenal fan.

CONCLUSION: Arsenal definitely played well today but it will be a worry to see how easily we conceded those two goals for Chelsea. Regardless, we played well overall and deserved all 3 points. If we played like 50% of that against the 3 previous teams, Arsenal fans wouldn’t be in the mental pretzel we are all in because of this damn team. Chelsea was dreadful. They were poor in all parts of the pitch, if Werner was one of your productive players, you are in for a long one. It was strange to see Chelsea come out so flat in a Arsenal-Chelsea tie but you can most definitely attribute it to the empty seats at the stadium, such a shame. Special shoutout to former Chelsea academy product Eddie Nketiah for scoring his two biggest goals in his Arsenal career when we needed him most. He might, and let me emphasize, might be the reason our season is saved. I thought he played well for this teammates, annoyed the Chelsea defenders when pressing, and moved around the pitch with the speed that is faster than a average human being. What a performance by Eddie.

PREDICTION FOR OUR GAME AGAINST THE UNITED (I swear if we fucking lose): We have an early kick-off with United this Saturday who are coming off an embarrassing loss to Liverpool. With ALL that being said, I am expecting a Man United 3-0 victory over us at the Emirates. Arsenal is the team of life and I am fully expecting us to make Ralf and company feel good about themselves. If Cristiano is able to come back and play from the tragic events that his family just went through, you can bet your ass, 100% he is scoring a hat-trick all over us at the Emirates, book it. This is definitely not a jinx, and will definitely happen this weekend, no way it doesn’t.

MOTM: Thomas Tuchel – nobody helped Arsenal more today than that beautiful man as Chelsea manager. For him to help Arsenal so much by playing a dire squad with absolutely no desire or hunger to win this London Derby is something I can not thank Tuchel enough for doing.

Player I am most thankful for: Eddie Nketiah – being able to move and run faster than an average human being is something I can’t thank him enough for. Looking at you Laca.

Funniest guy: Aaron Ramsdale winding up the Chelsea fans is straight-up gold, love that guy. Just need him to play better

Someone that is going to 100% gets screwed and betrayed in a few weeks: Arsenal fans – I think we all know what is going to happen in the end. However, these types of victories over scum like Chelsea don’t happen often and need to be cherished. I am going to enjoy this game and laugh at Chelsea fans before Arsenal brings me down to Earth in a few days.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BEAT UNITED

Featured image credits: Arsenal

Video Credits: NBC, Random Videos

Arsenal has England rattled!

Feed me the tears, feed me all the tears!!! If you know anything about my history with supporting Arsenal, I am the first one to call out the club for their incompetence on and off the field. When we started the season with 3 straight losses to Brentford, Chelsea, and Man City, I was on the verge of my annual mental breakdown from supporting this club. After solidifying our summer transfer window, Arsenal have gone on an unexpected run to pole position for the coveted 4th spot in the league, right now ahead of Man United, Spurs, West Ham and Wolves. This climb up the table to a Champions League spot and hopping over our rivals has every other club rattled and it is fucking hilarious.

For context, Arsenal has been doing this thing this season where they are winning soccer matches instead of disappointing draws or frustrating losses. And weirdly after these matches that Arsenal are winning, they are doing this thing where they celebrate with each other to express happiness after the matches. Let me show you the absurd acts that Arsenal have been committing after matches they win:

Rob Holding and Ben White rush to congratulate Bernd Leno on the clean sheet, Gabriel goes down to his knees to celebrate. Granit Xhaka celebrates with egregious celebration by jumping in the air.
Arsenal teammates strangely celebrate with Bernd Leno after the full time whistle to celebrate a win?
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Arsenal – Leicester Reaction

Get in fellas! I’ll have to admit, it is weird not having to complain about this team in recent weeks and the better part of this season. It means that I’ll have to develop a personality that doesn’t revolve around Arsenal being shit but I’ll take that trade if it means Arsenal keep playing like this. An early goal from Thomas Partey and a converted penalty from Laca gave us the comfortable 2-0 win at home against Leicester. As straight-forward a win that you’d like to see from the boys especially given the tough tasks ahead against Liverpool midweek and Villa away next Saturday. This game takes us a point above United with 3 games in hand but those games in hand don’t mean a thing if we aren’t able to take points away from those games.

PREMATCH/FIRST HALF – Mikel went with the same team that has gone on this 4 games unbeaten run with Tomiyasu being replaced by Cédric with Emile Smith Rowe nursing an injury on the bench. Leicester went with a somewhat rotated lineup from their Europa Conference League clash on Thursday against Rennes with Daka, Tielemans, Ndidi and Justin stepping aside for Iheanacho, Maddison, Mendy, and Pereira. The match started and we were out guns blazing. Xhaka was stepping into that advanced role in possession with Ødegaard taking up the half spaces to receive the ball. Arsenal won a corner in the 11th minute which subsequently led to Martinelli playing a delicious ball into the near post that Thomas Partey nodded in for the 1-0 lead. One of the biggest breakthroughs this season is Martinelli’s set piece delivery as you would think you’d want him attacking these crosses. Leicester let in another set piece goal which is the 14th time they allowed a goal from a set piece this season according to Statman Dave.

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Arsenal – Watford Reaction

Absolutely get the fuck in fellas. Arsenal did their best to make the match by letting Watford back in but a solid performance away from home saw us see out Watford 3-2. Goals from Ødegaard, Saka, and Martinelli saw us through in a somewhat comfortable manner. This result is a massive 3 points considering our fixture list coming up. Arsenal feel like a double-edged sword for me at the moment with every win comes more pressure, and with more pressure comes increase sadness if they mess this up. Looking at the table, we are the clear favorites for that 4th position at this point. It’s hard not to get excited to be in this position we are in currently but as Arsenal fans, we know better than to get our hopes up with this team. Future Kent can deal with whatever Arsenal does to me later, right now, let’s just be happy that we aren’t United fans.

PRE-MATCH/FIRST HALF: Mikel went out and out with the same team that started against Wolves with ESR and Tomiyasu being the notable players not in the squad today. Watford had more changes with Joao Pedro and Cucho Hernandez coming in for Josh King and Ismaila Sarr. The match started with Watford heaving it up and you could clearly tell that Ben White and Gabriel were switched off. Watford then were able to play Emmanuel Dennis through for a goal 18 fucking seconds in however Tierney “cleverly” made sure he was in an offside position. Thank fucking goodness, almost had me unwell not in a minute into the game. Then a couple minutes later Cédric, Saka, and Ødegaard sweetly combined to put us ahead with one of the nicest flicks you’ll see coming off the Norwegian’s heel.

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Arsenal-Wolves Reaction

Let’s gooooooooooo!!! 3 points are all that matters and the boys got the job done today. This match had typical Arsenal screwing it up when the pressure is on at home, the crowd gets all amped up, and then Arsenal usually would find a way to fuck it all up. But today, not sure what deal Arteta made with the devil but the opposite happened. It wasn’t pretty, it was sloppy, it was damn ugly, it made me not want to live for most of the game, but we made it out with 3 points and moving onto the next match. Arsenal nabbed a goal in extra-time to take us past Wolves at the Emirates with a score of 2-1. With Spurs losing to Burnley yesterday and Wolves fighting for top 4 with us, this match ended up being a 6 point swing between us and Wolves as you can see from the league table before this week’s matches:

And now after….

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Arsenal-Wolves Reaction

LET’S GOOOOOOO. What a stupid soccer match. This team never fails to raise my blood pressure but somehow pulled off a 1-0 win over Wolves at the Molineux Stadium through a Gabriel goal in the 25th minute. Such a massive 3 points by Arsenal away from home while also keeping a clean sheett.

PRE MATCH/TEAM SELECTION – The team selection was just about what I expected barring Cédric coming in for Tomiyasu. ESR found himself on the bench but only due to Arteta going with the XI that he has preferred for the past couple of months. Wolves came out with their expected with their keeper Jose Sá being their standout player up until this point of the season with their manager doing quite a decent job with the team in his first season in Bruno Lage. Also, every game against Wolves reminds me that Daniel Podence is a footballer and then I always wish he was on our team only for that day as he always shows up against us.

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