GET THE FUCK IN FELLAS. Arsenal 4 – Team with no owners 2. Arsenal did it, they really did it. It’s moments like these that make you want to laugh and kill yourself all at the same time. For the past few weeks, I have mentioned that our games in hand(s) aren’t that much of a blessing as they are all games against Big 6 opponents, one of them being Chelsea. Little did I know, that Arsenal would go on to lose 3 straight to Crystal Palace, Brighton and Southampton; and subsequently travel to Stamford Bridge to whoop some Chelsea ass. Only this god forsaken club, I swear. This game puts us right back in the Top 4 hunt which 100% will come back and kill me. Future Kent will worry about that later though.
PREMATCH: With Chelsea coming off a busy week after a grueling Champions League tie with Real Madrid and a FA Cup Semifinal victory over Crystal Palace, you would expect Tuchel to put some rotation in for Arsenal, but little did I know he would have so little respect for us ( I don’t blame him). He put Lukaku back into the starting XI, brought on Malang Sarr to LCB, rested Thiago Silva, and brought in RLC to the CM pivot. Arteta tinkered heavy too by bringing in Rob Holding to CB, pushed Ben White out to RB, put Elneny next to Xhaka in the CM pivot and put Eddie up top over Laca.
SUMMARY: The first half started with Chelsea very much on the front foot with very dangerous corners that Ramsdale didn’t deal with at all (He hasn’t been that convincing for a while now for me). Then we got a gift shaped in a beautiful Danish basket all laid out for us by Andreas Christensen’s misplaced back-pass that Eddie was able to latch on to and put away.
In typical Arsenal fashion, legitimately just a few minutes later, Timo Werner got a deflected shot past Ramsdale but who gives a fuck?
Our second goal in the 27th minute by ESR came from a brilliant run by Xhaka who was able to body off Lukaku and meg Alonso in our own box before starting a counter that turned into ESR’s 10th PL goal of the season. Just fucking brilliant by Granit to get us out of pressure. To be fair, he couldn’t have picked two better Chelsea players to just straight up embarrass and dribble past as Lukaku can’t move anymore and Alonso is Alonso. Chelsea were able to equalize soon after as we were sloppy in the back which gave Chelsea the chance to capitalize on a flat footed Nuno at the back post. We went into the half tied up 2-2 with Chelsea and at this point, I just get migraines watching this team play. To be fair, as well as we played as it pertained to the 2-2 score at the time, I thought Chelsea were way below standards as opposed to Arsenal bossing them. Kanté and RLC lost possession so many times. The Chelsea wing backs, Alonso specifically was basically a turnstile that Saka kept toying with like on a busy day at Grand Central. Just no resistance to the Arsenal attack whenever we were able to cross into their half.
SECOND HALF: The second half started with another gift from Chelsea which is super awkward cause Chelsea I don’t think can accept gifts on their end due to various sanctions lmao. With that being said, Nuno capitalized on a loose pass and played it into Eddie who was able to poke the ball in after calamitous defending from Chelsea. Inject this shit into my fucking veins.
Arsenal then did a masterful job of seeing the game out despite the heavy Chelsea pressure to get an equalizer. And then came the beautiful cherry on top.
Arsenal and Kent finally got some luck and were granted a penalty for the vicious mauling Saka took from Azpi. Just a hugely dangerous altercation with Cesar lucky to even stay on the field. There is no place for this type of play in the Premier League. (Between you and me, that is the softest penalty I have ever seen, if this was given against Arsenal, I have no doubt that I would not live to finish the rest of the game. I would have lost my mind and voice but oh well lol, couldn’t be me). Saka converted the penalty and gave us the 4-2 victory as well as a new found look on life if you are a depressed Arsenal fan.
CONCLUSION: Arsenal definitely played well today but it will be a worry to see how easily we conceded those two goals for Chelsea. Regardless, we played well overall and deserved all 3 points. If we played like 50% of that against the 3 previous teams, Arsenal fans wouldn’t be in the mental pretzel we are all in because of this damn team. Chelsea was dreadful. They were poor in all parts of the pitch, if Werner was one of your productive players, you are in for a long one. It was strange to see Chelsea come out so flat in a Arsenal-Chelsea tie but you can most definitely attribute it to the empty seats at the stadium, such a shame. Special shoutout to former Chelsea academy product Eddie Nketiah for scoring his two biggest goals in his Arsenal career when we needed him most. He might, and let me emphasize, might be the reason our season is saved. I thought he played well for this teammates, annoyed the Chelsea defenders when pressing, and moved around the pitch with the speed that is faster than a average human being. What a performance by Eddie.
PREDICTION FOR OUR GAME AGAINST THE UNITED (I swear if we fucking lose): We have an early kick-off with United this Saturday who are coming off an embarrassing loss to Liverpool. With ALL that being said, I am expecting a Man United 3-0 victory over us at the Emirates. Arsenal is the team of life and I am fully expecting us to make Ralf and company feel good about themselves. If Cristiano is able to come back and play from the tragic events that his family just went through, you can bet your ass, 100% he is scoring a hat-trick all over us at the Emirates, book it. This is definitely not a jinx, and will definitely happen this weekend, no way it doesn’t.
MOTM: Thomas Tuchel – nobody helped Arsenal more today than that beautiful man as Chelsea manager. For him to help Arsenal so much by playing a dire squad with absolutely no desire or hunger to win this London Derby is something I can not thank Tuchel enough for doing.
Player I am most thankful for: Eddie Nketiah – being able to move and run faster than an average human being is something I can’t thank him enough for. Looking at you Laca.
Funniest guy: Aaron Ramsdale winding up the Chelsea fans is straight-up gold, love that guy. Just need him to play better
Someone that is going to 100% gets screwed and betrayed in a few weeks: Arsenal fans – I think we all know what is going to happen in the end. However, these types of victories over scum like Chelsea don’t happen often and need to be cherished. I am going to enjoy this game and laugh at Chelsea fans before Arsenal brings me down to Earth in a few days.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BEAT UNITED
Featured image credits: Arsenal
Video Credits: NBC, Random Videos